Nonetheless, social comparison seems sufficiently destructive to our sense of well-being that it is worthwhile to remind ourselves to do it less.
How to Find Yourself When You’re Feeling Lost
As if to say: But this only strengthens the cycle. As internet maven and co-founder of Flickr, Caterina Fake, once said:.
And the research agrees. It brings them up and slams them back down:. This pattern of relations indicated those high in FoMO were more likely to experienced mixed feelings when using social media. But posting to alleviate your discomfort also has an important secondary effect: To learn what Harvard research says will make you happier and more successful, click here. Looking at social media for happiness is a bad idea. Sounds cliche, but the research says you need to look inside:. This constant fear of missing out means you are not participating as a real person in your own world.
Only real life is real life. We all have bad things we could think about. He explains the importance of attention in his book, Happiness by Design: Your happiness is determined by how you allocate your attention. What you attend to drives your behavior and it determines your happiness.
Attention is the glue that holds your life together… The scarcity of attentional resources means that you must consider how you can make and facilitate better decisions about what to pay attention to and in what ways. If you are not as happy as you could be, then you must be misallocating your attention… So changing behavior and enhancing happiness is as much about withdrawing attention from the negative as it is about attending to the positive. This analysis showed that students high in FoMO were more liable to use Facebook during university lectures… Young adults who were high in fear of missing out paid greater attention to emails, text messages, and their mobile phones when driving compared to those lower on FoMO.
To learn more about how to focus your attention and be happy, click here. What can you pay attention to when life is, frankly, kinda sad or boring? Now take a couple seconds to imagine those were taken away from you. How would you feel? Bad things happen to us randomly, right?
So to some degree, you are lucky to have what you do. Does this exercise sound silly? Research shows it works. Mentally subtracting cherished moments from your life makes you appreciate them more, makes you grateful and makes you happier. In fact, gratitude is arguably the king of happiness. The inevitable comparisons to the fake lives on Facebook makes you feel you have less. Contemplating what you are lucky to already possess makes you feel you have more. As the author of the FOMO study said:. Social media may not create the tendency, he said, but it likely exacerbates it by making sharing so easy.
To learn more about how you can use gratitude to make yourself happy all the time, click here. And Facebook can help you be happy. Use it to plan face-to-face get togethers. Columbia professor John Cacioppo , the leading researcher on loneliness, says doing that can make your life better:. Even prodigies have to practice and practice in order to better themselves, and natural ability must be supplemented by determination. You could very easily strike gold with an idea, segue the passion into the career, or just get into the habit of doing more of what you love.
Nothing that makes you happy is a waste of time, and embracing things that excite you is a major stepping stone to finding yourself. The routine, repetition, monotony, and lack of change in your life can all contribute to and deepen the path towards becoming lost. Step outside of your comfort zone and experience something new, visit a place you have never been, or do something you would have otherwise avoided. You do not need to limit that to big things like traveling to a different country or going skydiving. Some simple examples include going to an experimental jazz show, walking to a new neighborhood, traveling to a nearby small town, or striking up a conversation with a stranger.
Honing your ability to think on your feet and accessing your ability to meet any unforeseen challenge helps you find your true self. Getting out of your comfort zone is a conscious decision where you decide to try something or be somewhere new. Taking that a step further, walk outside of your house or step off a plane and get lost. Do not take out your phone and figure out where you are. If your first instinct is to take a right, take a left instead.
Get into the car and just start driving. Get off a highway ramp into an unknown area. Good, it is meant to be! But it is also meant to be very rewarding.
- Darker Shade of Pale -Her Escape, Her Freedom-!
- Love & War.
- The Red Spring.
- How to Overcome FOMO: Fear of Missing Out | Time.
Right now, you are feeling lost, and you are in search of yourself. Take your physical body and literally get lost. It is a therapeutic exercise that reminds us that no matter how lost we get, we can always find our way back. This literal exercise will translate into a more figurative realization when you are trying to find yourself. Where do you want to go when you find yourself again? As an added bonus, it should get you out of your comfort zone as well. A third party perspective is a very beneficial tool when attempting to find yourself. We strongly encourage seeking guidance from people you know that inspire you, but that often comes with the hiccup of a biased perspective.
Another problem is that a good conversation is a back and forth between two people, so it is easy to get off track or end up talking about the other person rather than yourself. A life coach is there for you and only you, using their unbiased, third party perspective and seasoned expertise to really connect with you and make a difference. They can clarify things and help develop strategies that lead to finding yourself.
Discovering what does not interest you will help you zero in on what does, and any opportunity you can take to challenge yourself helps you find yourself. There are plenty of adult classes in most areas, and thanks to the Internet, there are countless classes on every topic imaginable online. Whether it is something that you can see yourself pursuing as a career, something that you want to do purely for fun, or something to better yourself physically, the only regret that you will have is not trying.
Decide if your career and relationships are positive or negative. If something is just a means to an end, then it is more than likely a negative. Deciding if your career is part of the reason you became lost or if you are in an unhealthy relationship is best done under the guidance of an online coach.
Letting go of something that is comfortable is difficult. It is easy to decide that an unhealthy thing is positive when considering it from a personal, narrow perspective. It is amazing how therapeutic it is to get things off your chest or discuss deep issues or truths with people. By having discussions about things outside of the weather, work, school, or whatever mundane topic is considered proper dinner conversation, you will learn things about yourself and the people around you. Opening up can lead to a deeper connection with yourself and others, as well as lead to new ideas or ways of thinking that can be incredibly beneficial.
Not only is it another way to step outside of your comfort zone, it also builds up your ability to truly be yourself around people. One of the biggest frustrations when one feels lost is that sense of hopelessness that nothing is going to change, and the thought that no one cares about the way you are feeling. There is also a fear of confrontation that can cause you to bottle up things that bother you until you reach a bursting point.
It is important to express yourself and have a say in your surroundings and environment. When you are able to tackle the fear of saying how you feel, it makes formulating how you feel and who you want to become much easier on a personal level. If you can express a problem to another person, surely you can express it to yourself.
This Is The Best Way to Overcome Fear of Missing Out
If the person does not respect your wishes, that can be seen as a productive thing, because now you know that they do not respect you, and it is time to rethink their value in your life. Assertiveness is not easy, and a life coach can help you decide whether a compromise can be made. Some people scoff at the concept of meditation, but centering your mind and attempting to clear it not only relaxes you, but also can clarify or put into perspective problems and obstacles. Most people who say that meditation is a joke have never tried it. If it does not work for you, that is completely fine, but trying new things and keeping an open mind are crucial building blocks to finding yourself and maybe some inner peace, too!
Reach out to an old friend that you have lost touch with. Give them a call rather than sending them a text or a message on social media. Try and meet up with them for some coffee, lunch, or a drink. Triggering that nostalgia can be exceptionally beneficial. If you want to take it a step further, you could try and get a group of old high school, college, or work friends together for a night at the bar or over to your house for a casual party. Whether you make stupid faces in the mirror to crack yourself up or try bungee jumping off of a bridge, letting go of your inhibitions and acting a little crazy loosens you up and clears negative energy.
Simply embracing the fact that you are lost and that you need to find yourself may seem like a crazy path to some, but doing what is right for you is never crazy. Embracing spontaneity is similar to doing something crazy, but with a particular emphasis on repetition. When you pass by a store, go inside.
Anyone can be spontaneous simply by going out and doing something. Seize the day, seize every moment, and find excitement in the smallest of places. By challenging yourself to let go of the hesitations that led you to losing touch with yourself, you can discover things about yourself that were buried deep, and be more willing to say yes, both to yourself and to others. Your past is in the past for a reason. Whatever you have done, whatever skeletons you might have in your closet, forgive yourself for them.
Your biggest critic is yourself, and the sooner you are able to let go of past transgressions or missed opportunities, the sooner you will be able to take on virtuous endeavors and take hold of new opportunities.
How to Find Yourself When You're Feeling Lost
Dwelling on the past is unhealthy, can cause someone to lose himself or herself, and hinder your progression in a very dramatic way. It is very similar to forgiving people that you have grudges against. When you dislike someone for a past transgression, you are filling up valuable brainpower and energy on unproductive vindictiveness. The same goes for how you think of yourself. Love yourself wholly and completely, faults and regrets and all. The safest way to forgive yourself is to talk to a third party bound by confidentiality, like a therapist or a life coach.
Therapy sessions not only help figure out what specifically you may be feeling guilty or regretful about, but also ways in which you can forgive yourself for them. Laugh, sing, dance, daydream, watch, listen, feel, enjoy. Any verb that triggers an image or experience that excites you is one that you will want to try and perform on a daily basis.
It is up to each of us to make the most of every second. Someone passed away a second ago, and you are experiencing a second in time and in life that they did not get to experience. Consider every moment a beautiful wonderful miracle of existence. Lose yourself in reliving a vivid sexual experience.
Blast the radio and sing full volume. Take some chances, make some mistakes, but for the love of God, enjoy your life! Understanding Who You Were The first step to finding yourself is to figure out who you are now by writing down how you got here. Your true self will be much different from who you were when you were lost. The way you feel when you find yourself will become a foundation that you can pull from to avoid feeling lost again.
The methods set forth are meant to be habit forming, and in the same sense that you lost yourself without realizing it, you will continue to find yourself without realizing it. It will start as deep focus, and slowly transition into a subconscious continuation. You may have a list of goals that you want to accomplish. These goals are important benchmarks in envisioning what you want to accomplish and who you want to become.
As you achieve goal after goal, you will start to feel more confident, have a well-rounded list of accomplishments, and feel as though you are living a life that matches who you are and your full potential. Each accomplishment is a building block, and each objective you face will be met with an increasingly assertive stride. Eventually you will feel like nothing can stand in your way in life, and no goal or dream is out of reach. And you know what? Someone who has found himself is not ruled by fear or clouded by judgments from themselves or the people around them.
They have recognized that they were lost, and recognized that a change needed to be made. People who have found themselves have recognized that finding their true calling was necessary, because they only have one life to live. It is never too late, it is never too soon, it is never the wrong time. First you have to trust in yourself and believe that it is possible. Soon you will know that it is possible. Eventually you will prove to yourself and everyone around you that anything is possible.
When you find yourself, you will stay on track no matter what, because you will find that there is no other option.
Changing Your Perspective Going through the motions needs to become a thing of the past. That feeling of being lost is all a matter of perspective. Your perspective now is that you do not know who you are, what you are capable of, and what the future has in store. Where you are now and where you have been is the focus. When you find yourself, your perspective on life, its purpose, other people, yourself, your past, and your future will change in a more positive way than you could ever imagine. It will fill you up and elevate you to a new level of understanding: With this change in perspective, everything that comes after it will become easier and easier.
Right now you are feeling lost, so obstacles, goals, and dreams seem like crossing an ocean. You will not become another person when you find yourself. You are the same person, but the best version of that same person possible. That comes down to a new perspective and regular action. This may be obvious, but it is certainly worth noting.
You earned a new life, and it is yours for keeps. When you have found yourself, the idea of becoming lost again will seem impossible, and that is because it will be. The idea of finding yourself and unlocking your true potential seems like a challenge, and it is. However, everything is surmountable with the right strategy and focus.