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In other words, what is the special feature of haiku? I write haiku in English only , as well as mainstream poetry in both English and Russian , and I've published collections of both. I think writing haiku is more about feeling than philosophising, and I am happy that I got into writing this kind of poetry. Haiku writing seems to be intuitive. Also, it changes a haiku poet's personality.

Succumbing to the habit of self-observation, a poet can trace those changes in himself. This will probably give him a chance to look into himself, to connect with his inner self in this way…. Most Japanese haiku poets are quite aware of seasons and nature when writing haiku. How about the haiku poets in your country? Most of the Irish Haiku Society poets write haiku associated with a certain season, and they tend to use kigo, a season word.

Some of us, including myself, are regular contributors to the World Kigo Database. Sometimes we write muki kigoless haiku but this doesn't happen too often. Some other poets in our country who don't belong to any group of haiku enthusiasts, write haiku-like poems that can be classed as zappai - sometimes they are quite funny but rather shallow, and shouldn't be regarded as real haiku. What do you think of "cutting words" and juxtaposition internal comparison as haiku techniques?

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We can't use kire in English, as there are no cutting words in our language. However we use other means of separating one part of a haiku from another. This is either a dash, or three dots, or just a logical break, not marked but obvious. Juxtaposition is one of the main haiku techniques, and our haiku poets use it quite often. I wish they used it even more often! I studied works by classical Japanese haiku poets of the past long before I attempted writing my own haiku.

Their works are and will ever be a constant source of inspiration for me. While giving a haiku workshop, I always encourage the participants not only to read but to examine the works by at least four Japanese haiku greats: Basho, Buson, Issa and Shiki. I am quite sure that not knowing the classics they won't be able to find their own way of writing their haiku. The Irish - or should I say Celtic? Since the times of Basho haiku managed to survive for quite a few centuries, and I believe that it will flourish as a unique genre of poetry in the centuries to come. After all, it is easy to memorise a haiku, so they will survive this way, even if our descendants won't have books anymore.

Do you think that haiku is or will be accepted as a mainstream form of poetry in your country? How do other poets regard haiku in your country? I am afraid, the only country where haiku have been accepted as a mainstream form of poetry is Japan. But should we really push for this kind of acceptance?

If writing haiku becomes prestigious we'll only get many more tons of badly written three-liners. Personally, I am happy that there are many good haiku poets in almost every part of the world, and reading their works, which I do regularly, gives me a great pleasure. Onlyunpublished English haiku poems are eligible for submission. Each applicant isallowed to submit up to two poems. A Japanese translation should be includedwith each poem when possible, but non-Japanese applicants are not required to attacha translation. Haiku submissions may be submitted by post, email, orfax.

Applicants are also requested to give their division, name, age and sex optional ,and contact information address, phone number, email address [if any]. Age, sex,and contact information will not be made public. Junior and senior high schoolstudents should include their school name and grade, and Japanese applicantsare asked to give the phonetic reading of their name.

In each division, one grand prize and two distinguished work prizes will be awarded. Recipients will receive a certificateprinted in both English and Japanese as well as an additional prize. Prize winners will be notified by mail and will be invitedto attend the awards ceremony, which will be held on July 15, at 1: Akito Arima, had an opportunity to introduce and share haiku in Vladivostok, Russia. Hiruta told Director, Sohei Oishi and Head of the Chair, Alexander Shnyrko about the aims of his visit, and asked them for their cooperation, hoping for a further spread of haiku in Vladivostok.

In his visits to Eastern School, Hiruta told about haiku to kindergarten children and elementary pupils who study Japanese. The children enjoyed reading haiku in chorus in Japanese as well as in Russian. They also enjoyed drawing picturesabout haiku. The articles on Hiruta'sactivities for cultural exchanges through haiku in Vladivostokhave appeared in the following homepages of the Japanclub at Japan Centerin Vladivostok and the Haiku InternationalAssociation in Tokyo.

Students learned to write haiku through these workshops. Theworkshops were conducted by "Haydzin" Hiruta Hidenori — a poet who writes haikuspecially arrived to Vladivostok. Students, studying the Japanese language, listened with interest to theexplanations of how to write haiku in various languages — Japanese,English and Russian, and then created their own poems. Hiruta arrivedfrom Akita Prefecture, which has friendly relationswith Primorsky Region.

Next year there will be the th Anniversary ofsister-relationships between Akita and Vladivostok. Universitiesin these cities have students and teachers exchange agreements, so Far EasternFederal University students may participate in the Haiku contest in Russian, aswell as in Japanese and English. Winners of the competition have a realopportunity to go to Japan.

Such cultural exchanges as thiscaused a great sensation there in Vladivostok,making them more interested in haiku and inspiring them to write haiku. Thisis why the Akita International Haiku Network is pleased to launch theJapan-Russia Haiku Contest, as an opportunity to share haiku related to thetheme of "the sea". The organizer hopesthat this contest will serve as an opportunity to deepen mutual understandingamong people, to promote theinteraction of people's views on Japanand Russia,as well asto convey the enjoyment of writing and reading haiku.

The organizeralso hopes that it will serve as an opportunity to strengthen and develop the sistercity relationship between Akita andVladiovostok, as well as to promote and increase comprehensive exchanges suchas cultural, economical, medical, agricultural ones between Akita Prefectureand PrimorskyRegion. In March, , Akita Prefecture and PrimorskyRegion concluded the treaty that there should be more exchanges promoted andincreased between them. This treaty reminds Hiruta of those fruitful exchangesthe ancient people had by way of the northern sea route from the 8thcentury till the 10th century.

Umi the sea One of the most popular haiku related to the sea was written by MatsuoBasho in Original, previously unpublished haiku referring to some aspect of the seashould be submitted according to the entry form. Japanese haiku poets shouldwrite haiku following traditonal styles in the Japanese language, having seasonwords. And they have to add its Russian and English traslations. Russian haiku poets should keep in mind thathaiku is considered to be the shortest poem in the world, and submit haiku witha length of three lines in the Russian language. Season words are not essential.

And they have to add its Japanese and English translations. Limited number of entries: Only one haiku may be submitted perhaikuist. The contest is open to the public of nationals of Japan or Russiawho are currently residing in Japanor Russia. Please download the entry form Word file and submitit by email to: Saturday May 5, - Friday May 25, Ten'I Providence led by Dr. Akito Arima Kyoko Uchimura, a dojin of a haiku group: Ten'I Providence by Dr. A winnerwill be notified by email and announced on the website of Akita InternationalHaiku Network, on Friday, June 29, And ifthe winner resides in Japan,a round -trip ticket to Vladivostok City of Russiafrom Narita Airport and a stay in a hotel there willbe offered.

Furtherinformation will be notified directly from the organizer to the winner. Rogetsu is a pen name, whosereal name is Ishii Yuji - This haiku contest is held partlybecause of celebrating the th anniverasay of Ishii Rogetsu'sbirth. Honorble mentions are also presented to six winners by Akita Prefecturegovernor, Akita Citymayor, superintendent of Akita City board of education. Please note that the winner mayhave to cover some of the travelling costs. The judges will consider each poem on its individual merits, and make no distinction between traditional and modern haiku.

Please send your submission by email to librasia iafor. Please remember to include your name, address and contact details. Originating from Japan, Haiku is the shortest form of poetry in the world. In a short descriptive verse, it captures a moment in the poet's life, or simply expresses the beauty of nature. Haiku is now enjoyed in many countries around the world. JAL Foundation biennially organize 'World Children's Haiku Contest', and we are happy to announce that the 12th contest is to be held this year.

Applicants This contest is for anyone, regardless of experiences and nationalities. Application guidelines Entries must be submitted via form, using the entry form available in the website of this contest. A seasonally word is not required. Each haiku piece should be written in 3 lines. A participant can send one pieces of Haiku in each entry form. We will appreciate it if the Japanese translation is attached to the Haiku, though it is not required.

The haiku must be original and unpublished work. The haiku work should not counter public order and morality. Submitted work cannot be altered nor returned. Fee No entry fee is required. Contest results Winners will be notified via e-mail in the last week December, Copyrights Hereby, the organizer of this competition may use, translate, prepare derivative works of, publish, otherwise make use of submitted work in any and all media, without compensation to the author of any kind.

Participants of this competition transfer all copyrights, including the rights guaranteed in Articles 27 and 28 of the Copyright Act in Japan, to the organizer of this competition. Participants of this competition agree to abandon moral rights such as publication right, name display right and right of integrity of submitted works.

Each of the three judges will choose ten other winners. Entry form pdf file Russian Haiku Section: Romanesque is essentially Tuscan spoken with a Neapolitan accent. Tuscan is essentially Italian with all consonants aspirated. Neapolitan is essentially a sign language. The loud sounds that Neapolitans emit are just music to accompany the gestures.

Bolognese is essentially Lombard spoken with a English accent. Sicilian is essentially ancient Tuscan spoken with an English accent. Italian is essentially English with vowels added to the ends of words. Lombard is essentially Italian with vowels removed from the ends of words. Ergo, Lombard is essentially English. Ecclesiastical Latin is essentially Classical Latin with a "pick your pronunciation" sign over every phoneme.

Italian is essentially the feminine side of Spanish. Conversely Spanish is essentially Italian for "Men". Italian is what happened when Romans tried to learn Latin and said "screw it. Latin is essentially the mother language of languages that do not communicate with each other. French is essentially the first syllables of Latin words spoken with a headcold. French is essentially Latin spoken by a drunken Roman soldier. French is essentially the language that Americans don't learn before travelling abroad.

French is essentially English spoken while eating a very big piece of Brie cheese. Franche est essentialement englaishe ouithe les endinges funnies et lottes de vowelles et les adjectifs en alle les places ronges. Wallon is essentially French as spoken by Spanish soldiers occupying Belgium. Francophones are essentially Germans speaking the bad Latin they were taught by Gauls. Swiss French is essentially French spoken with a very hot potato in one's mouth.

Canadian French is essentially bad English as spoken by a Belgian with an inferiority complex. French is essentially German with messed-up pronunciation and spelling. French vocabulary is essentially English minus a few obvious germanicisms. All Romance languages are essentially the same.

French is essentially Latin forced to comply with destructive sound changes and German influence. French is essentially an attempt by the Dutch to speak a Romance language. French is essentially a language that elides everything that doesn't get out of the way fast enough, and nasalises everything else. French is essentially a Romance language with Algonquian verb grammar. French is essentially the linguistic equivalent of a really bad tailgating accident in which all the final consonants either are lost or stuck on the windshield of the next car.

French is essentially Latin spoken by Germans with their mouths full. French is essentially the quintessence of every kind of Romance language, disguised over centuries by its inspired creators into some Germanic stepbrother out of sheer modesty. French is essentially the pidgin Latin that Caesar's army used to solicit German whores. French is essentially bad Latin as spoken by Bretons and Gauls who are insecure about their ancestry.

French is what happened when Germans tried to learn Latin and said "screw it. French is essentially Latin as spoken by rowdy drunken Gauls mocking the Roman legions in their own language. French is essentially the only language worth speaking -- according to the French. French is essentially an accordion, where the final letters of words are either smeared into the next words, or squashed out of existence entirely. French is essentially the language you think you can speak until you arrive in France. Kreyol is essentially French pwonounced wike a wittu girw and spewwed aww kwazie.

French is essentially less than what French speakers think it is and more than the rest of us think it is. Creole French is essentially French from which all the needless complications have been removed: In fact almost the only thing they forgot to fix were those silly numbers, such as quatre-vingt-quatorze Portuguese is essentially Spanish spoken through ill-fitting dentures. Portuguese is essentially the language spoken by Gallegos who decided to have their own independent country.

Ergo Portuguese is essentially Danish posing as a Romance language. Brazilian is essentially Latin without consonants. Azorean Portuguese is essentially your Mainland Portuguese as spoken with puckered lips. Portuguese is nothing more than Spanish as spoken by people who wannabe French. Gallego is essentially Portuguese as suppressed by Francisco Franco a wannabe Castilian.

Brazilian is essentially Spanish spoken by Portuguese hot babes with rhythm. Brazilian is essentially a conlang created by people who wanted to have sex all the time, but still be able to talk about everyday things. They say if you're speaking bad Spanish, you're speaking Portuguese but I didn't find that to be true! Portuguese is Spanish spoken with a French accent. Not really true since the nasals in Portuguese are different than those in French. Portuguese is essentially a kind of contact language formed from Spanish and To a Galician speaker, Portuguese sounds like a kind of Galician with most vowels left out, whereas to a Portuguese speaker Galician may sometimes sound like Portuguese with a Spanish accent.

Portuguese is essentially bad Latin that Spaniards cannot understand. Portuguese is essentially like a kind of Galician with most vowels left out. Contrariwise, Galician is essentially Portuguese with a Spanish accent. Portuguese is essentially Spanish that's ashamed of its heritage, so it passes itself off as a Slavic language. Portuguese is essentially a dialect of Spanish that managed to score an army and a navy. Portuguese is essentially heavily mutated vulgar soldier's Latin, as spoken by prescriptive purists obsessed with "preserving the correct language".

Portuguese is essentially Spanish that's been left out in the rain all night. Portuguese is essentially Castilian without bones. Portuguese is essentially the language Gallegos do not know they already speak. Catalan is essentially bad Spanish mixed with even worse French. Catalan is essentially Spanish and French spoken at the same time.

Catalan is essentially Spanish when you're not paying attention. Catalan is essentially bad Spanish and bad French mixed by somebody who did not speak either one of them. Catalan is essentially Castilian spoken by a dyslexic Frenchman. Catalan, as everyone knows, is essentially Spanish spoken by Poles. Catalan is essentially Spanish with the last letter removed from each word. Catalan is essentially Castilian spoken by people who don't want to speak Castilian.

Catalan is essentially French spoken with a Portuguese accent. Rumantsch is essentially Vulgar Latin of old as cryogenized in the Swiss Alps. Brithenig is essentially bad Italian spoken by Welsh who swallow the final syllables. Wenedyk is essentially Latin written by someone who fell asleep on the keyboard. Romanian is essentially a Romance language trying really hard to blend in with the Slavic languages around it.

Romanian is essentially an exiled, forever-homesick 'Ovidiu' writing his stanzas from an immense vocabulary of slavic-turkish-hungarian-greek-french-german-yiddish-kaldarash Latin, and -- unlike all of his far-living lazy and vulgarized brothers, sisters and cousins -- still cherishes a faint idea and longing for his classical mother's so-noble traits.

Catalan is essentially Spanish with the accents slanted the other way. Catalan was invented by horny Spanish guys who tried to sound French so they could pick up Northern European girls who could only speak French as a foreign tongue. Catalan is essentially the secret passwords needed to get into places half-price in Barcelona. Catalan is a complicated mixture of Spanish and French: Catalan is essentially German read in Spanish by a French speaker.

Romanian is essentially Latin spoken by people who prefer to live in cold lands instead of Mediterranean basin and prefer to drink vodka instead of wine. Romanian is essentially Russian pretending to be a Romance language. Moldavian is essentially a Romanian dialect which spurted out of Russian imperialism, except that some angry men and women who found themselves on the bad side of the border decided to pick up all the broken pieces of their cultural identity and to call their dialect with the name of their nation, which is touching but still linguistically misleading.

Romanian is essentially the expression of the stunning ability of a Roman soldier to keep his linguistic roots alive when he switched to shepherding in a hostile Dacian environment. Catalan is essentially Portuguese migrated to the other side of the Iberian peninsula and spoken with an outrageous French accent. Romanian is essentially the German of the Romance languages for three reasons: Like German, it has fricatives and affricates practically everywhere, an unintuitively conservative grammar, and a stubborn cockiness regarding the latter, often expressed while unintentionally spitting because of the former.

Catalan is essentially the language used by Spaniards to communicate with French people who speak some Spanish. Rumantsch is essentially German idiom and syntax disguised with Romance words and inflections. Catalan is just an Occitan dialect, the only difference is that it's still alive. Catalan is essentially "the missing link" between Spanish and French. Bulgarian is essentially Russian pronounced as it is spelled and using English grammar. This [Russian with an Italian accent] is actually how I tend to view Bulgarian. Serbo-Croatian is essentially an auxiliary language devised so that different ethnic groups can understand each other as they swear at one another.

Serbian and Croatian are essentially different languages merged by mutual hatred. Bosnian is essentially a dead language, shot dead in no man's land. Croatian is essentially Serbo-Croatian written in the alphabet used in Catholic Gospels. Serbian is essentially Serbo-Croatian written in the alphabet used in Orthodox Gospels.


Bosnian is essentially Serbo-Croatian curiously not written in the alphabet used in the Koran. Bosnian is essentially what Serbs and Croats prefer to communicate with each other in. Polish is essentially a light form of Russian that even Germans can master. Polish is essentially Czech spoken under the shower by a couple that is unable to choose between fighting and making love. Russian is essentially Church Slavonic with a strong Mordvin accent.

Russian is essentially a language invented by Poles who couldn't spell. Ukrainian is essentially Russian spoken by people with cleft palates. Written Belarusian is essentially Russian with misspellings one would expect from small Russian children. Conversely, Slovak is essentially Czech as spoken by a Hungarian. Old Church Slavonic is essentially the language that comes out when the basses sing a low C. Trasianka is Russian as said by the Belarusian mouth, Narkamauka is Belarusian as imitated by a Russian mouth and Taraszkievica is the Belarusian mouth itself.

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From meters up, all Slavic languages are essentially the same. Belarusian is essentially Polish spoken by a Russian suffering from a severe attack of akanie. Polish is essentially Russian spoken by people who thought it was French and had to sound awful. Polish is essentially Portuguese when you stand 3 meters away, and Russian when you come closer.

Russian is essentially Punjabi spoken in the throat. Contrariwise, Punjabi is essentially Russian spoken in the nose. Russian is essentially Punjabi that fell off the wagon. Contrariwise, Punjabi is essentially Russian with better spices. Rrrrussian essentially is a language that requirrres its speakerrr to have a tongue that worrrks like a vibrrratorrr. Russian and Belarusian are essentially badly spelled Ukrainian.

Russian is essentially drunken Polish babytalk written with a Greek alphabet. Ukrainian is essentially Indo-European that stayed at home. Bulgarian is essentially Russian with no cases, but with articles but tacked on to the ends of nouns. Polish is perfectly good Russian words effed up with redundant sh and zh sounds.

Belarusian is essentially Russian spelled the way it's pronounced. On the other hand, Old Church Slavonic is essentially Russian pronounced the way it's spelled and with funny archaic words in it. Bulgarian is essentially Russian spoken with an Italian accent.

Polish is essentially Slovak as spoken by a young Slovakian making a lot of silly, funny mistakes -- and vice versa. Modern Bulgarian is essentially Old Church Slavic which has lost its cases. Bulgarian is essentially yet another Russian with yet another similar but a bit different grammar and lexicon. Slovak sounds essentially like Polish spoken with a speech impediment. Russian essentially is the last few words you utter before being eaten by a polar bear. Czech, Slovak and Slovenian are all essentially Polish child-speak.

Croatian is the result of the artificial intention to differentiate it from the rest of the Serbo-Croatian dialects by changing all the nice words by those that only the peasants of the country use. If they are the same as in Serbia, then they use Italian ones. Ukrainian is essentially Russian spoken by a Pole who knows its grammar but does not know its words.

Norse is essentially Gaulish with rings on top of a's and o's slashed. Greek is essentially Gaulish with an angular version of the Latin script. Welsh is essentially some reasonable language that had its stock of vowels pillaged by Polynesians, yes, but which one? They really don't sound that much alike. Breton is essentially Welsh with all the consonants changed to "z". Welsh is essentially Breton spoken by Methodists being sober, they have no problem with [T] and [D], keep their vowels and [r]'s clear, don't turn their diphthongs inside out Cornish is essentially Breton spoken by lapsed Methodists if they haven't lapsed to begin with, a few "cultural" visits to Brittany seem to do the trick.

Welsh is essentially what appears on the screen after you have inadvertently been resting your elbow on the keyboard. Welsh is essentially the only language that can have four consecutive L's. Irish is essentially an Indo-European language cunningly disguised as gibberish to perplex the English. Irish is essentially as many phonemes as possible written with as few letters as possible. All Celtic languages are essentially the same with different idioms, what. Irish essentially sounds like a "normal" language recorded on tape and played backwards. Welsh is practically spoken in Swansea and essentially spoken in Aberystwyth.

Gaelic is essentially what would happen at the intersection of English spelling, Polish pronunciation and quite random yet strongly h-rich vocabulary. This, however, would suggest that Gaelic is being reborn around the modern London suburbs or that it is Basque as sung by some weary Scotsmen. Welsh is American English spoken by an Indian rap artist trying to keep his head above water. Scots Gaelic is Ulster Irish as spoken by a Presbyterian minister with the hedonism squeezed out of him.

Manx is Scottish Gaelic spoken by a Liverpudlian in a bad mood. Modern Greek is essentially Classical Greek with all vowels and diphthongs changed to "i", and all consonants pronounced as fricatives. Modern Greek is essentially Classical Greek as spoken by Venetians.

Koine Greek is essentially Classical Greek as spoken by people who don't know any Greek. Mycenaean was essentially Greek written in katakana. Apart from pigs and vases, which were written in kanji. Ancient Greek is Proto-Indo-European pidgin with an attitude. Koine Greek is Ancient Greek mangled far and wide. Modern Greek is Koine Greek mumbled and hissed p-ssed. Greek essentially is a lengthy math equation with too many variables. The Greek language is essentially the reason why the rest of Europe decided to adopt Latin instead.

Middle Greek is essentially the repeated, stuttering, yet beautiful denial of Hellenes who claim to be Roman who claim to be Christian who refuse to pretend that the Medieval World is still Classical. Conversely, Sanskrit is essentially Tamil spoken with a lisp. Hindi is essentially a combination of bad Persian and worse Sanskrit. Bengali is essentially Hindi with all words stressed at the beginning.

Malayalam is essentially Tamil as spoken by people who like palindromes. Middle Persian is essentially Aramaic as written by monolingual Iranians. Pashto is as essentially Persian as Icelandic is essentially English. Tajik is essentially Farsi written in the Cyrillic alphabet, with a little Uzbek stirred in for flavor. Estonian is essentially Finnish with more length distinctions. Latvian is essentially Lithuanian or Livonian spoken by Estonians. Tamil is essentially the language that makes German look logical and easy.

Essentialist Explanations

Farsi is essentially Classical Latin as spoken by an Arab first-year student. Bengali is essentially Hindi spoken with a rosogolla in one's mouth. Sanskrit is Tamil with aspiration and voice, with borrowings from Proto-Indo-European. Punjabi is essentially Indo-Iranian that stayed at home. Eastern Punjabi is essentially Western Punjabi that has been pwned by Hindi.

Lithuanian is essentially Latvian as spoken by Poles. Lithuanian is essentially a Baltic language insisting really strongly that it doesn't blend in with the Slavic languages around it. Latgalian is essentially Latvian with vowels randomly shuffled. Livonian is essentially Estonian as written by Latvians who couldn't decide whether to use Latvian or Estonian orthography, so used both at the same time.

Livonian is actually Latvian as spoken by drunken southern Estonians. Livonian essentially sounds like what a deaf man would hear in a diving bell at the bottom of the ocean.

Livonian is essentially a language the sound of which nobody knows. Pali is essentially Sanskrit spoken with your mouth full of cotton. Latvian is Russian in Roman script with a letter 's' at the end of every word. Tamil is Welsh spoken by a Sri Lankan auctioneer underwater. Conversely, Estonian is essentially Finnish with most unstressed and final syllables suppressed. Ffiinnnniisshh iiss eesssseennttiiaallllyy aa llaanngguuaaggee ffoorr ppeeooppllee wwiitthh ddoouubbllee vviissiioonn.

Hungarian is essentially the noise one's dad makes when he has accidentally hit his thumb with a hammer. Hungarian is essentially German with all sounds randomly shuffled. Hungarian is essentially a Scotch snap with double-long rounded vowels. Hungarian is essentially all counterintuitive consonant pairings. Finnish is essentially Hungarian spoken while drunk, freezing, and morose. Finnish is essentially Swedish with all sounds randomly shuffled.

Votic is essentially Finnish with a German accent. Or perhaps with a strong Russian accent, in which case it is Estonian that is Finnish with a German accent. Estonian is essentially an inflecting form of Finnish whose lexicon is just Finnish mangled by syncope and apocope with a whole bunch of foreign words pretending to be native.

Hungarian is essentially a mangling of Uralic, Turkic, Slavic, and German words, with a remarkably Uralic-esque grammar. Hungarian is essentially German disguised as a Uralic language with Turkic and Slavic influence. Estonian is essentially mumbled Finnish as written down by a German.

Mordvin is essentially Uralic that stayed at home. Hungarian is essentially Finnish as spoken by Norwegians and written by Poles. No self-respecting Pole would flip s and sz around. Finnish is Estonian spoken by a Hungarian with a stutter in very cold weather. Hebrew is essentially Arabic mangled by Europeans. But then, so is Maltese. Maltese is essentially Arabic as spoken by an Italian living in England. Modern Hebrew is the language of the Bible and the Talmud, refurbished by a mad pedant and bastardized by 5 million immigrants. Berber is essentially a cousin of the Semitic languages with a fear of vowels.

Egypt, home of mystery religion, had a language with mystery vowels. Coptic is essentially Egyptian spoken by Greeks. Or Greek spoken by Egyptians? Modern Hebrew is essentially bits of Ancient Hebrew from every period, spoken by an Eastern European. Hebrew is essentially Arabic with most consonants changed to "sh" and "kh". Syriac is essentially Hebrew with Georgian-like vowel placements. Hausa is essentially Arabic spoken in a manner much like playing the didgeridoo.

Maldivian is essentially Sinhala written with Arabic-Indic digits with accents. Hebrew is essentially Arabic spoken with a Yiddish accent. Arabic is essentially the result of a bottle of tabasco flushed down with a bottle of Stroh rum. Al-Arabiyya al-essentialliyya al-lanqu'aj al-moor as-similar al-Hebruwwa adh-dhan al-Inqlishiyya. Algerian is essentially Arabic before vowels were invented. Egyptian is essentially Arabic spoken on top of a pyramid.

Egyptian is essentially Arabic pronounced by sphinxes which explains why [dZ] is replaced by [g] to mystify other Arabs. Saudi Arabian is essentially Arabic with all words meaning "sex" and "alcohol" removed. Aramaic sounds essentially like Greek, as spoken by a camel with morning sickness. Modern Hebrew is essentially Ashkenazic Hebrew as spoken by Sephardim.

Modern Hebrew is essentially Sephardic Hebrew as spoken by Ashkenazim. Modern Israeli Hebrew is essentially all previous stages of Hebrew relexified into British English with all the words changed to end in "-atziya". Standard Arabic is essentially Biblical Hebrew with a few more consonants.

Moroccan Arabic is essentially Arabic pronounced as spelled -- without any vowels. Arabic is essentially the Latin of the future there will be more Muslims than Christians sometime this century. Maltese is essentially the bastard child of Arabic and Italian who spent too much time hanging around with English. Aramaic is essentially Hebrew after being violated by Greeks and left by the side of the road. Mishnaic Hebrew is essentially Biblical Hebrew minus some confusing grammatical rules.

Biblical Hebrew is essentially supposed to confuse anyone who reads it without referring to the Oral Law. Israeli somewhat misleadingly a. The Afro-Asiatic family is essentially the first language family to make grammatical use of perpetual laryngitis. Amarna Akkadian is essentially Peripheral Akkadian as written by monolingual Canaanites. Neo-Assyrian and Neo-Babylonian are essentially debased forms of Akkadian as written by monolingual Aramaeans.

Akkadian is essentially East Semitic as spoken and written by Sumerians. Moabite is essentially Aramaic, concealing its roots and aspiring to be a dialect of Hebrew. The language of Deir Alla is essentially Hebrew, laying low and pretending to be a dialect of Aramaic. Biblical Hebrew is essentially Canaanite as spoken by Zoroastrians. Mandaic is essentially Aramaic as spoken by Zoroastrians.

Late Biblical Hebrew is essentially Biblical Hebrew, as written by monolingual Aramaeans, without the benefit of Lambdin's grammar. Imperial Aramaic is essentially "business Aramaic" as spoken by Persian clerks and middle management. Biblical Aramaic is essentially a bad imitation of Persian Chancery Aramaic as written by a mediocre Judean novelist during the Hellenistic Era. Biblical Hebrew is essentially Standard Arabic with a few consonants lost at the bottom of the Reed Sea. Talmudic Aramaic is essentially Arabic at the dentist "say 'aaaaa Sino-Tibetan, Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese.

Korean is essentially bad Japanese, also as spoken by Mongols. Conversely, Japanese is essentially Korean in the mouths of little children. Japanese is essentially tone-deaf ancient Chinese spoken backwards. Japanese is essentially 16th-century Chinese, 17th-century Portuguese, 18th-century Dutch, 19th-century French and 20th-century English with an abhorrence of consonant clusters.

Japanese is essentially the linguistic equivalent of kicking someone's butt. This is a more apt description of Korean as I heard it used by kindergarten teachers and drunk middle-aged males alike. Korean is essentially being caught in a syllable-diagramming exercise gone horribly, horribly wrong.

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Mandarin contrasted with Cantonese sounds essentially like wind whistling through dry bamboo. Cantonese is essentially what everyone else in China calls swearing. Chinese is essentially Symbolic Logic spoken as a tonal language. Modern Tibetan is essentially Old Tibetan as spoken by people whose tongues went numb from trying to actually pronounce Old Tibetan as written. Tibetan is essentially Burmese with Georgian-like vowel placements.

Spoken Vietnamese is essentially Chinese with 6 tones, unpronounceable consonants, and sounds you have to say while inhaling. Written Vietnamese is essentially Wade-Giles as invented by an opium-smoking Frenchman. Chinese is essentially just like any other language, except that there's no tense, gender, conjugation, grammar, or logic, and all the words sound the same.

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  • Els Secrets de La Teva (Catalan Edition)?
  • Taiwanese is essentially Mandarin though the letter 'H' was mortally wounded during the civil war. Chinese, as spoken by hip somethings, is essentially really bad English. Japanese, as spoken by hip somethings, is essentially really bad English. Japanese is essentially Classical Chinese with a second helping of vowels.

    Modern Chinese is essentially Classical Chinese without any manners. Chinese is essentially a picture book drawn by people who forgot they were drawing pictures. Japanese is essentially Tagalog spoken by Koreans trying to do an impression of Americans from the point of view of Chinese people. Classical Japanese is essentially Classical Chinese with zi4 "z" pronounced as ji "g". Korean is essentially being caught in a syllable-diagraming exercise gone horribly, horribly wrong.

    I have long maintained that Japanese grammar is essentially Spanish done in reverse Polish notation. Classical Chinese is essentially verbs with optional arguments and complements. Japanese is essentially a language that adopted the world's most complicated writing system, and then made it worse. Korean is essentially angry Japanese with a speech impediment. Japanese is of course essentially Turkish as spoken by Hawaiians. Japanese is essentially Korean as spoken by academics with absolutely no knowledge of Korean. Cantonese is Hokkien spoken by a Maori doing the haka after hearing his wife's been cheating on him.

    Japanese is essentially Spanish written in Chinese characters thrown in a bag and then sorted out without any logical order. Modern Japanese is essentially a way for the vocabulary of other languages to skip years of evolution in meaning. North Korean is essentially a collection of South Korean threats and insults put together by the North while South Koreans work.

    Turkish is essentially Arabic, Persian and French words stuck together with Mongolian grammar. Turkish is essentially Azerbaijani spoken by would-be Europeans, so with a French, German and English accent. Uzbek is essentially Azerbaijani spoken by those who gave up on its 53 verb tenses. Azerbaijani is essentially Turkish spoken by Shi'as who never have had anything to do with Ataturk. Uzbek is essentially Uighur which used to be spoken with a Russian accent.

    Uighur is essentially Uzbek which still is spoken with a Chinese accent. Karaim is essentially Turkic spoken by Lithuanian Jews with European syntax and with a few Hebrew words added -- just to make sure they are both Europeans and Jews. Uighur is essentially bad Turkish mixed with worse Kazakh and execrable Chinese. Manchu was essentially Mongolian, as adapted for use by multiethnic hillbillies with a penchant for voiceless bilabials and combined arms tactics. Evenki is essentially Ur-Tungusic as spoken by reindeer fetishists with wanderlust.

    Even is essentially pharyngealized Evenki, spoken by Santa's ranchers, at the beach. Solon is essentially Evenki spoken by Mongol groupies. Oroqen is just Solon without horses but with Chinese passports. Jurchen might be, in essence, Nanai as spoken by Mongol groupies but recorded by Chinese. Nanai is essentially Ur-Tungusic as spoken by those Tunguses who objected to reindeer, cattle, and other newfangled Turco-Samoyedic vices, and who invested in riverfront property instead. Oroch is essentially Nanai spoken on the tributaries. Ulcha is essentially downriver Nanai.

    Kur-Urmi is essentially backwater Nanai. Nanai proper fished all the sound changes out of the river before they could reach Oroch, Ulcha, or Kur-Urmi. Udihe is essentially the bastard child of trappers' and ginseng-diggers' Chinese and upriver women's Nanai. Goldi is essentially what the old guard called Nanai, while Hezhen is essentially what the Red Guard called Goldi. Orok is essentially Nanai that crossed the Tatar Straits to look for more riverfront properties. Uzbek is essentially three major branches of Turkic as spoken by Tajiks.

    Turkish is essentially a dialect of French restoran, omlet, garson, factura, pantolon, televizyon, The Manchus are essentially Jurchen who have recast themselves as a type of Mongol. Sakha Yakutian is essentially Turkish spoken by people whose lips are frozen. Turkish is essentially Korean that survived the sack of a gang of angry Mongols and the transliteration of several nasty rulers.

    Turkish is essentially Hungarian adapted by retreating Huns who hoped that curses with umlauts would really frighten the Greeks. Greenlandic is essentially Inuktitut with all consonant clusters replaced by geminates and all diphthongs replaced by long monophthongs. Nunatsiavummiutut aka Labradorimiutut or Inuttut is essentially Inuktitut as spoken by someone without a uvula. Old Greenlandic spelling Kleinschmidt orthography is essentially etymological rather than phonemic.

    New Greenlandic spelling essentially pretends that a three-vowel language actually has five vowels. Inuktitut iis eesseentiiaallyy Fiinniish aas spooqqeen iin Greenlaand. Etruscan is essentially mummified, dried up Modern Albanian as used by hoary Italians. Etruscan is essentially composed of the various sounds emanated by the cartoon character Pinky from Animaniacs. Cherokee is essentially a language written in a mixture of Latin, Coptic and Cyrillic letters with exaggerated serifs. Bella Coola Nuxalk is essentially the linguistic equivalent of a drum solo.

    Swahili is essentially Bantu as spoken while haggling over prices. Gur languages are essentially typical Niger-Congo languages, only with the nouns spoken backwards. Wolof is essentially the announcement of African unity restricted to the northwestern part of the continent. Tukulor is essentially Wolof when some Fula guys tried to experiment with linguistic variation over it, and they were successful. Hottentot is essentially voiced rock and roll, just the beat without the music.

    Zulu and Xhosa are essentially Bantu languages that dabble a little in Khoisan phonology. Navajo is essentially not a language: Germanic is essentially a direct descendent of an Indo-European creole. Gothic romanization is essentially an attempt to write both Gothic and proto-Gothic at the same time. Khmer is essentially Pali with a few consonant clusters borrowed from Georgian.

    Georgian is essentially a hybrid of altered IE grammar and Arabic, Persian, Turkish, and Russian vocabulary with a grammar that pretends to be related to IE but is actually like Basque, just more polysynthetic. Shilha is essentially the Bella Coola of Afro-Asiatic. Or Bella Coola is the Shilha of Salishan. Chechen is essentially a mix of Arabic and Georgian consonants and French vowels. Abkhaz is essentially the Haida of the Caucasus. Sixty-odd consonants; two vowels.

    Sumerian is essentially Akkadian after being invaded by proto-Persians. Southeast Asian languages in general and Cantonese, for that matter essentially sound like cutlery being thrown down the stairs. The Northeast Caucasian family is essentially the only language family to make phonemic use of burps, hiccups, gagging, coughing, inhaling, exhaling, and a combination of all six. Yoruba in Nigeria is a list of vowels uttered by a man on a pogo stick. Shona in Zimbabwe is what you get when you try to quote a helicopter verbatim. One language essentially turns into another when the speaker has had too much to drink!

    Esperanto is essentially bad Romance with lots of German and some Russian stirred in. Esperanto is essentially a crippled cross-over between Italian and Spanish. Esperanto is essentially German and Latin spoken with a Yiddish accent. Esperanto is essentially Hebrew as ravaged by Modern Aryan in a pogrom. So it may be, but Esperanto still essentially sounds like Italian being mugged by Polish.

    Ido is a essentially a Jewish language spoken by an anti-Semite. Ido is essentially Esperanto, as sweet wine is essentially a bunch of sour grapes. Ido is essentially the bastard offspring of Esperanto and Idiom Neutral. Other International Auxiliary Languages. Novial is essentially Esperanto, reinvented by someone who was too late to be an Idist. Novial is essentially French read with a Danish pronunciation. Re-Novial is essentially Jespersen's Novial as aged in the cask, bottled and ready for uncorking.

    Volapuk, Esperanto, Occidental, Novial and Interlingua are essentially butcheries of every language found in Europe. Volapuk is essentially English as gastrically processed and passed out by a German speaker. Latino Moderne is none other than Interlingua grammatically retrofitted.

    Interglossa and its descendant Glosa are essentially Basic English in Greek. Interlingua is essentially Italian spoken by a Spaniard, or vice versa.