You are stressed and worried about your spouse losing his or her job, and your greatest concern stems from your loss of control. The constant stream of negative thoughts in your mind has prevented you from doing any creative problem-solving. When you think about getting rid of your negativity, you might start by trying to push those thoughts out of your mind.
But stop and consider a different approach, something that would go along with meditation and yoga. Fighting against something usually takes a lot more energy than avoiding a fight in the first place.
Learn how to tap into the positive and manage the negative.
Imagine a sheriff in an old Western town who sees a known outlaw calmly stroll the main street. The sheriff remains polite but firmly encourages the outlaw to keep on walking, right out of town. He projects confidence and stays calm. Instead of pushing and prying your negative thoughts out, you are acknowledging and releasing them.
And when they come back which they will, out of habit , acknowledge that they are still coming and release them again. Look them square in the eye like that sheriff and tell them what they need to do — keep moving along. Another day dawns and your spouse is no closer to finding a new job.
As usual, the flood of negative thoughts and distressing emotions enter your mind. Remember that you know two things now.
Depression and Letting Go of Negative Thoughts
Your concerns stem from your lack of control. You also know how to acknowledge those thoughts and tell them to keep moving along out of your mind.
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They can come in and go out. By letting go instead of pushing, your mind opens up and stays more relaxed. I have had OCD and panic attacks for a long time, but I had learned to live with them, to control them, until now. Recently I started having thoughts like: I love life, people around me and many things, but these bad thoughts are like horrible clouds over my head.
How to control bad thoughts
Please, could you give me some advice? I want to start by saying that they are just thoughts. In saying that, I am not denying the fear that surrounds some thought processes, but when you being to see them for what they are, mental activity in your brain, just thoughts, the fear starts to lessen. If you have lived with panic attacks and OCD for a long time, you probably have had periods in the past where things that no longer bother you, could have caused your major distress.
Your ability to cope will be greater than you realize.
A Practical Guide For Positive Thinking
Part of our brain is still quite primitive and is constantly on the look out for things that may cause us harm. At the moment, depending on how you are reacting to the thoughts you describe, if is is causing distress, your brain might interpret these thoughts as something that might cause you harm, so it will pay great attention to them. If something really nice happened to you, or something made you really happen, your brain will not pay much attention at all, as it does not really need to protect you from happiness.
The trick is to take the fear out of the the thoughts, and I know that that is easier said than done. You say you are generally a happy and optimistic person. You still are, just having a few troublesome thoughts. When you said you know that they are irrational, that is good thinking part of your brain that knows that, but it will feel like some other part of your brain just does not accept this at all. If you are getting scared by the thoughts, you could well have a stress response attached to them.
This is the bit that you need to retrain so to speak. Let me back track and explain that a bit better. Based on the information you have given me, I shall try to explain what your brain could potentially be doing with these thoughts.
Each time you have the thoughts, if you are are also feeling some sort of stress in your body, this will get stored in your brain I am explaining this quite crudely, but it should make sense. There are two things important here. So, each time you have these thoughts, if you are afraid, your brain will pay attention.
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In doing so, you are more likely to think about them again in the future. Think of it like burning your hand on a hot ring on the cooker. Your brain will carefully store this memory, along with all the thoughts and feelings relating to it.