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My mind is a mess

I throw my line out with no expectations of what I will or will not catch. It is the learning to listen that becomes the challenge. I spent my weekend with amazing people, living in each individual moment, trying to improve who I am. Everyone in your life — the ones that contribute something positive not necessarily intellectually — brings something useful and enriching to your existence.

You many not immediately understand the connection, or even the purpose, but if you look at the serendipity of those you have met, you will find that you are being guided. This is not so say its someone controlling you. This is to say that your impact on the universe is recognized, and you just have to learn to listen to those prompts.

After 43 years, I am only beginning to understand the music of our universe. But, I will say that I have learned when to listen and when not to listen, because there is a fair amount of noise. I wrote this post from a partially selfish perspective. I wanted to record this weekend, for future reference, but I also wanted to impart to you — my friends — that life can truly be magnificent. We simply need to see it for what it is — moment to moment.

This story happens a few weeks after the Halloween events in Waking Dream: The purpose of this novella was to give my readers a better understanding of my concept of Weirdness. There are several different forms displayed in this novella, hopefully enough to spur your own creative juices so you can help me build the world. Lost Haven is a fast paced story about a mysterious group of individuals called The Order of Seers.

It features several new characters as well as a couple of characters from the first book. I had to throw my hat into the Zombie genre, just a tad, and give my take on the phenomenon. While the story is primarily dark fantasy, it does have horror elements. I try not to limit the story, because life nor the universe is limited. Anything can happen in the Waking Dream. You can buy Lost Haven for a mere. It is certainly worth it for anyone who wants to explore the Waking Dream even further.

Soon, I will be releasing another novella, right before Book II.

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Even though they are horror tales, they all related, in some way, to the Waking Dream. Can you find the connections? It had gone to spam, since the address seemed a bit dodgy, and over the top in its attempt to scare me into clicking the photo — awarningtoall gmail. Since there was no message, I simply deleted it, figuring it was some sort of mal-ware despite its unnerving appearance. However, a few days later, I received it again and it contained the following message:. Your world is distorted and spiraling ever further into chaos.

This is by your design. You have failed to understand the purpose of your existence, and it is not for me to explain. It was your responsibility to evolve into something more than an all-consuming swarm of self-absorbed locusts. That is at an end now. I have worked silently, detected, yet unknown, hidden in plain sight and murdering benevolently. I gain no solace from my work, nevertheless, I must continue before you commit suicide, collectively and completely.

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Before I continue with this first letter — the first of many to come — I want you to be clear on a few simple points. There is no point in trying to ascertain my identity or find me in any way.

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You will waste your time, because you cannot find me with the limited capabilities of your feeble minds. In addition, those of you who are unfortunate enough to be on my list, you cannot hide from me. I can pluck you off the streets or out of your bed in the dead of night and there is no stopping me. My experience is vast in the art of observation and extermination. My purpose is very clear and I have no doubts about my mission.


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Doubt is a human characteristic. I am more than human. I know you because I began just as you do, wandering listlessly through existence without the faintest of ideas on purpose. Knowledge comes through experience, trial and error. Now, I can see things you are unable to see. You think your darkest deeds, secrets and wishes stay hidden within the thin space between your ears, yet it is recorded on the fabric of space and time for all eternity. Once something is known, it cannot be unknown. This is a fundamental law of the universe, just as I now embody one of its laws — all things must die.

I can see the thoughts on the record of the cosmos, then follow the trail of putrid breadcrumbs that lead to those who most deserve punishment. The only law constraining me is that my punishment must be equal to the deed for which I will punish you. I am not the cruel one, I merely a product of your actions. Since the dawn of humanity, I have been among you.

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I chose to reveal myself now because your world is ending. Many will die, and not just by my hands. I watch your news and see that you are quite astute in the art of killing. The pity is that you kill at all. The evil ones kill on a whim as by-standers look on like soulless zombies, recording the atrocious acts on their electronic devices, for the same selfish reasons you do anything else in your empty lives — to attain a fleeting moment of notoriety on the internet or the evening news.

This is the very reason your world will end, more rapidly than you can imagine. I have written this in the hopes that perhaps knowing these facts will change your ways, though I remain skeptical. People from every aspect of your failed society litter my list, which I prioritized by the severity your immoral acts. Crimes against the pure and innocent I deal with swiftly and innocuously. I used to empathize with your race, but that has left me now — all that is left is pity. The more I observe, the more I find that single smudge of black floating in your soul, a scar of the deed you committed against another.

These shards of darkness sing to me across time and space. Eventually, I will come for you unless you find a way to expunge it from your being, and make an act of true contrition. However, I must warn you that the only god that can save you is the god within yourself, which you refuse to see.

You look to the heavens with empty eyes and hearts, begging for forgiveness from an entity who has long since ignored your disingenuous atonement. From this lack of hope, I am born. There is no heaven or hell. Life is a cycle of birth, death and rebirth. When the end does come, some will survive to rebuild. It will be their responsibility to learn from your mistakes, and perhaps I will slumber once more — but humanity has not allowed me to do so in a very long time.

There are those among you who ensure that I have a constant supply of letches to eradicate from this world. You stray from the simple path easily, and you willingly destroy yourselves every moment of the day. You have unwittingly created the weapon of your mass destruction, and you are too blind to see it, even as you read this with skepticism and contempt in your heart.

Your arrogance, your technology and your belief systems have brought us to this brief moment in the history of existence where the world will face its ultimate demise. Why do I continue my work if the world is truly ending? The answer is very simple, even for you.

I will pave the way for those who have remained true to themselves and realize their purpose. There are fewer and fewer of you left. You allow the licentiousness, debauchery and narcissism of others to dirty your souls, and only you can purge this from your being. Those of you who have received or read this missive are targets for my list. As I said, I do have pity, for those who deserve it. It is through these series of letters that I will assist you in cleansing the darkness from the depths of your heart.

You can begin by looking into the mirror. Stare into your eyes and see your soul as I see it. There, the deed will reveal itself, if you truly wish to see it — however, most of you will dismiss this. Once you stare into the darkness in your soul, you will see me staring back at you. It is at that moment that either your mind will accept this and make amends or you will punish yourself by retreating into the waiting arms of madness, imprisoned within your mind. Spread this message, or do not. My job will continue. Now that you know I exist, you may think twice before evoking further maliciousness against others.

If you do not, you should not be surprised when a stranger approaches you from the shadows to force your atonement, and witness the cruelty of which I am capable. Has anyone else received this email? Seems like some sort of creepypasta to me. But, if you have received it, please put a comment below. Over the past year I have been asked on several occasions by people if they could contribute fan fiction to my sites for the Waking Dream. This was my intention from the beginning. I have 4 main blogs, two of which are set up for fan or flash fiction.

The Way of the Weird http: Though I have been recently remiss in contributing to the site, I intend on beginning this weekend with new content. Stories for the Way of the Weird are histories, folklore and current events in the Waking Dream Universe. The second fiction blog I am just beginning which is Corridor 03 http: This is a mock psychiatric unit where the fiction will center around case studies and personal journals of patients, doctors and staff in the unit.

Corridor 03 is a part of the psychiatric facility from Waking Dream: I am interested in anyone who would like to contribute as a patient, doctor or staff. Over the next month I will be putting up a series of posts explaining the Loethian Mythos which will serve as the framework for others to contribute. If you are interested in writing for Way of the Weird, please send an email to weird wakingdreamonline. If you are interested in writing for Corridor 03, please use the contact form on the Administration page.

There is code embedded in our genes. Much of this is governed by mathematical constants , ratios and equations. The beauty of our sun is irrefutable—a star adrift amongst a multitude of other kindred stars, a family so impossibly large one cannot be special. The family is called the Main Sequence. And we have found, spiraling around these other kindred stars, there are alien planets, strange and beautiful in their own right.

One can look at any planet, either within or beyond our Solar Family, and find beauty in it, something wonderful. The allegory was immediately apparent to me, but, as I grow older, I find new rabbit holes to explore philosophically each time I read it. I have always been fascinated with ancient cultures, even fictitious ones. The strange, yet alluring, appeal to the Martian culture, for me, was its foundation in humility.

History does not make a philosophy real — meaningful thoughts create the future of any philosophy. All we need do is not repeat the mistakes of the past, and history becomes irrelevant. The Martians as Bradbury created them were beautiful and admirable. With spring here, we are often reminded of the beauty that exists in and beyond our world — despite the chaos and discontent depicted on the nightly news. Winter brings isolation, hibernation and introspection as we huddle beneath quilts, blankets and layers of clothes. Spring unleashes our creativity, with the palette of color splashed over our gardens, forests and parks.

We take up our shovels and rakes to restore our yards to what we had before the cruel winter stripped it all away, leaving its mark as if to remind us that it will come again. Now, you are probably wondering why I am mentioning all this. Why mention the Martians, beauty and our sun? The answer is as simple as the answer to the purpose of life. There is a great deal of turmoil in our world, and it does not seem that there is an end in sight.

It is not isolated to one region, people or country. It is a systemic problem that we continue to ignore.

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The Martian Chronicles is a quintessential lesson on how we as humans trod clumsily through our existence , scarcely aware of the problems we cause because we have not reached a deeper understanding of the nature of the universe or ourselves. Life is a waking dream — we can mold it, enjoy it, and improve it— but first we must recognize we have the power within us. The purpose of my series The Waking Dream, is not only to entertain my readers, but also to plant that seed of suspended disbelief.

Once we start to collectively understand that things can be better, we will crave for them to be better. This requires that we all get involved. And this has been my steadfast message. A life full of philosophical discussion, creating beautiful things, and embracing the harmony that comes from a collective understanding, and engineering, of our reality.

The easiest way to begin is to look skyward to the real master of our world, the Sun. But despite the dangers associated with being dependent on the sun, and its cyclical temper tantrums, it is nonetheless beautiful. Our world is beautiful, yet, we were discontent to stay in the safety of its caves and caverns, so we have built temporary empires which will be long forgotten when we are no more.

The sun and Earth will exist beyond our brief moment in history — billions of years beyond our comprehension. Each moment, each breath, each thought should be cherished. We learn from mistakes and move forward, ever pushed by the arrow of time. At the beginning of this post I mentioned the code embedded in our genes that define our existence. This is only the operating system. We are all programmers with a keen, yet often overlooked, ability to write new code, new apps.

We can reorder things by reprogramming the world around us — we do it all the time. Every time you move something from one side of the room to the other, you are reprogramming your environment, but this is only the most fundamental ability we have — overcoming gravity. If we embrace the possibility that the universe is ours to mold, then we can explore new avenues of consciousness. We all have special abilities which we tend to ignore or keep to ourselves, for fear of being labeled negatively. We have a nasty habit of admonishing those who are different from the rest of the herd.

This is an instinct we must learn to overcome. Are the things that interest you really things you enjoy, or do you do them because everyone else is? This is a flaw in our societal structure. We are individuals first, and community second. At the end of it all, you will leave this planet by yourself — how do you want to be remembered? But why are these concepts so difficult for us to grasp as possible.

Nothing is impossible, and we know this due to our exploration of the quantum world. However, some things are highly improbable. For instance, a single electron has the probability of being anywhere in the universe at a given moment — the probability never makes it to zero. They pop in and out of existence in ways we cannot understand. There are strange attractions between certain particles that allow them to communicate with one another instantaneously over limitless space, defying what we know about the speed of light.

We have only just begun Kindergarten in the school of the universe. The code in our genes is what allows us to operate on auto-pilot — breathing, protecting, foraging. It also tends to hinder us as we rely on our instincts as well as our social engineering to define us. From a distance it is a perfect orb of glowing life, but up close it is a tempest of plasma and fire.

The same can be said of our world.

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From a distance it is a shining jewel in the crown of the sun, but as we look beneath the clouds, we are a hurricane raging across the planet, unable to find peace in our existence. We are ever rushing forward to meet the future without taking time to enjoy the now. We must look to the future, so that we can clear a path through existence.

Today the sun is shining, and it is a pleasant day. Despite being at work, I steal moments to stand outside and look to the sky. Summer is coming, the flowers are in bloom, and before we know it, we will be back in hibernation. But in the time we are active, we should explore new ways, within ourselves, to change the world around us. Things are not horrible, but they are not what we should want. We should collectively create a dream in which we all are happy, and each of us must strive to make it happen. You are more than you think you are. We are all stars, we are all god, we are all beautiful.

Be different, be yourself, be wonderful and the universe will reveal itself to you. I have not forgotten about the rest of the story I started, however, lately I have been working on several different projects that have been coordinating. But, things are moving along nicely. This is the bible or Necronomicon for the Waking Dream. It is a major expansion on material that I have already published on The Way of the Weird. I feel its time that you should know more about the Waking Dream. This is a collaborative work. I am collaborating with others on a series and though it is not a Waking Dream novel, it will have elements of the Waking Dream woven within.

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I will have more information on this in the coming months. I am very excited about the project. This is another Lovecraftian piece I am working on for exclusive publication on Kindle and it will be finished by mid summer. I thank you all for your continued support! Now, my top 13 books to dream by. These books were major inspiration to my writing, and I feel everyone interested in my work would find these books equally inspiring:.

I mention these particular books because they were instrumental in helping me formulate my ideas about life, spirituality and the universe. All of these I have read numerous times, and each time, I find something new and noteworthy as a read. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did! I wanted to talk about something that has become a bit of an obsession. There have been many that have come before me about this particular mystery. Everyone has their own opinions, and it is time that I share some of my thoughts on the subject.

Using that documentary and my own independent research and thought exercises I think I have a pretty good idea about what is going on here. But first let me explain the mystery:. The tiles are embedded into the pavement through an ingenious method of using tar paper, asphalt glue, and linoleum. The persons placing these tiles, or Tilers, cut the messages meticulously out of linoleum, then they deploy them through various means.

What follows is a list of the best songs from that era. Here are our favorites. The song, featuring distortion-soaked production and uncouth vocals, encompasses everything that the movement held dear. While others were caught up in trying to make the most noise, the Screaming Trees seemed only concerned with writing solid, straightforward songs. It has all of the tropes and tricks that grunge had to offer, but at a more sophisticated level than many were capable of. Spritely and catchy, the song is a punk-laden tour de force. It remains a sign of all the good things that were to come for the band.

And while the lyrics are at times questionable, the music and energy is staggering—especially since the members were only sixteen when the album came out. The song should feel all over the place, but instead it holds its own as an accessible and cohesive unit. And their debut, Bleach , released on pioneer grunge label Sub Pop, was a catalyst for not only their career but for grunge as a whole.

The song was your best clue of the wonderful things yet to come. Paring an off-kilter guitar lead with distortion-drenched rhythm, the song has an immediate urgency that gels into churning musicianship and sophistication. What makes it so engaging is all of the anguish and anxiety it captures.